Tuning: Standard Odd chords (in order of appearance): Cadd4: x-3-3-0-1-0 Bb: x-1-3-3-3-1 C7: x-3-2-3-1-0 Fdim7: 1-x-0-1-0-1 Cdim7: x-0-1-2-1-2 G#: 4-6-6-5-4-4 F C I have an apology to make, Dm I'm afraid I made a big mistake, Cadd4 C I turned my face away from You, Lord. F C I was too blind to see the light, Dm I was too weak to feel your might, Cadd4 C I closed my eyes, I couldn't see the truth, Lord. E Am But then like Saul on the Damascus road, E Am You sent a messenger to me, and so, F I have had the truth revealed to me, Em Please forgive me all those things I said, F I'll no longer betray you, Lord, G I will pray to you instead. Bb F C And I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God. Bb F C Thank you, thank you, thank you God. C G Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I had no idea but it's suddenly so clear, C C7 Now I feel such a cynic how could I have been so dumb? F Thank you for displaying how praying works, C A particular prayer in a particular church, D G Thank you Sam, for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist. C G Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I didn't realise that it was so simple, C C7 But you've shown a great example of just how it can be done, F You only need to pray in a particular spot, C To a particular version of a particular god, D And if you pull that off without a hitch, G He will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch. Am Fdim7 I know in the past my outlook has been limited, Am Fdim7 I couldn't see examples of where life had been divinitive, F C But I can admit it when the evidence is clear, D G As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea. That's extremely clear! Extremely clear! C G Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical, C C7 But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome. F How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention, C Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension. D It's like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me, G And the top five letters say I-C-G-O-D. C G Thank you Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed. I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical, C C7 It's simply that His interests aren't particularly broad. F He's largely undiverted by the starving masses, C Or the inequality between the various classes. D He gives out strictly limited passes, G Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses. Am Fdim7 I feel so shocking for historically mocking. Am Fdim7 No, your interests are clearly confined to the ocular. F C I bet given the chance you'd eschew the divine, D G And start a little business selling contacts online. C G Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history's endless parade of gods, That the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in C C7 Is the actual one and he digs on healing, F C But not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague, or the flood-addled Asians, D G But healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degeneration? Am Fdim7 This story of Sam's has but a single explanation: Am Fdim7 A surgical god who digs on magic operations. Am Fdim7 No it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation, Am Fdim7 Born of a coincidental temporal correlation, Am Fdim7 Exacerbated by a general lack of education, Am Fdim7 Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation. F C And it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars. F C It couldn't be an artifact of confirmation bias. F A product of group think, Cdim7 A mass delusion, G Fdim7 An Emperor's-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion. Am Fdim7 No it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician, Am Fdim7 Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition, Am Fdim7 Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission, Am Fdim7 Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician. F C No, the only explanation for Sam's mum seeing: F C They prayed to an all-knowing super-being. F Cdim7 To the omnipresent master of the universe, G Fdim7 And he liked the sound of their muttered verse. Am G So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt, F Em Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt, F Em He popped down to Dandenong and just like that, F Cdim7 Used his powers to heal the cataracts, G G# Of Sam's mum. A Of Sam's mum. -KEY CHANGE- D A Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I didn't realise that it was such a simple thing. D I feel such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum. G Now I understand how prayer can work, D A particular prayer in a particular church, G In a particular style, with the particular stuff, D And for particular problems that aren't particularly tough, G And for particular people, preferably white, D And for particular senses, preferably sight, G A particular prayer in a particular spot, Fdim7 To a particular version of a particular god. A And if you get that right, he just might, G Take a break from giving babies malaria, D And pop down to your local area, E A D To fix the cataracts of your mum. A D Hallelujah!