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Thank You God


Tuning: Standard

Odd chords (in order of appearance):

Cadd4: x-3-3-0-1-0
Bb: x-1-3-3-3-1
C7: x-3-2-3-1-0
Fdim7: 1-x-0-1-0-1
Cdim7: x-0-1-2-1-2
G#: 4-6-6-5-4-4

F                               C
I have an apology to make,
I'm afraid I made a big mistake,
                                           Cadd4 C
I turned my face away from You, Lord.
F                                      C
I was too blind to see the light,
I was too weak to feel your might,
                                                        Cadd4  C
I closed my eyes, I couldn't see the truth, Lord.

E                                                       Am
But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
E                                                    Am
You sent a messenger to me, and so,
I have had the truth revealed to me,
Please forgive me all those things I said,
I'll no longer betray you, Lord,
I will pray to you instead.

                     Bb              F               C
And I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Bb              F                C
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.

C                                                            G
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.

I had no idea but it's suddenly so clear,
          C                                         C7
Now I feel such a cynic how could I have been so dumb?
Thank you for displaying how praying works,
A particular prayer in a particular church,
D                                                                                 G
Thank you Sam, for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist.

C                                                            G
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.

I didn't realise that it was so simple,
                 C                                              C7
But you've shown a great example of just how it can be done,
You only need to pray in a particular spot,
To a particular version of a particular god,
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
He will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch.

  Am                           Fdim7
I know in the past my outlook has been limited,
  Am                                              Fdim7
I couldn't see examples of where life had been divinitive,
      F                                   C
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
     D                                 G
As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea.

That's extremely clear!
Extremely clear!

C                                                            G
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.

I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical,
      C                                                C7
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome.
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention, 
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
It's like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me,
And the top five letters say I-C-G-O-D.

C                                                                                    G
Thank you Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.

I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical,
     C                                              C7
It's simply that His interests aren't particularly broad.
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses,
Or the inequality between the various classes.
He gives out strictly limited passes,
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.

  Am                          Fdim7
I feel so shocking for historically mocking.
              Am                                 Fdim7
No, your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
  F                                              C
I bet given the chance you'd eschew the divine,
       D                                          G
And start a little business selling contacts online.

C                                                              G
Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history's endless parade of gods,

That the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in
          C                           C7
Is the actual one and he digs on healing,
       F                                                                 C
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague, or the flood-addled Asians,
      D                                                                 G
But healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degeneration?

        Am	                               Fdim7
This story of Sam's has but a single explanation:
   Am                                   Fdim7
A surgical god who digs on magic operations.
        Am                                  Fdim7
No it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation,
Am                              Fdim7
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
    Am                                 Fdim7
Exacerbated by a general lack of education,
Am                                     Fdim7
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation.
          F                                               C
And it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars.
   F                                     C
It couldn't be an artifact of confirmation bias.
A product of group think,
A mass delusion,
     G                                            Fdim7
An Emperor's-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion.
           Am                               Fdim7
No it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician,
               Am                            Fdim7
Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
     Am                                     Fdim7
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
        Am                                        Fdim7
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.

             F                              C
No, the only explanation for Sam's mum seeing:
         F                                      C
They prayed to an all-knowing super-being.
           F                                         Cdim7
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
            G                                  Fdim7
And he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
             Am                                 G
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt,
                  F                   Em
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt,
      F                                                  Em
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
F                             Cdim7
Used his powers to heal the cataracts,
G             G#
Of Sam's mum.
Of Sam's mum.


D                                                            A
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.

I didn't realise that it was such a simple thing.
I feel such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum.
Now I understand how prayer can work,
A particular prayer in a particular church,
In a particular style, with the particular stuff,
And for particular problems that aren't particularly tough,
And for particular people, preferably white,
And for particular senses, preferably sight,
A particular prayer in a particular spot,
To a particular version of a particular god.
And if you get that right, he just might,
Take a break from giving babies malaria,
And pop down to your local area,
      E                       A          D
To fix the cataracts of your mum.
                  A   D